It's Not Menopause It's Woman Stop People-Pleasing": Why Your Sleepless Nights Might Not Be Hormonal After All

Lately, I’ve been waking up drenched in sweat. Tossing and turning. AC cranked all night, fan on high. And still—no sleep. I figured, “This must be it. The Big M. Menopause. Early onset. The betrayal of my own hormones.”

But something didn’t add up.

The temperature hadn’t changed.

My body wasn’t changing (at least not that dramatically).

And then something else changed...

I ended a friendship.

One I had been silently suffering through for far too long.

One that drained me, emotionally and energetically.

And wouldn’t you know it? The night I ended that relationship, I slept.

Like, actually slept.

All the way through the night. No sweats. No tossing. Just cool, peaceful rest like my soul had finally been granted time off.

And that’s when I realized:

> Maybe it’s not just our hormones making us hot and sleepless…

Maybe it’s the horror of our daily lives.

Maybe we’re not burning up because we’re aging—

Maybe we’re burning up because we’re burnt out.**

The Nervous System Is a Mirror

Here’s what I’ve learned since:

Your body knows the truth before your brain does.

When you’re carrying:

Emotional labor for others

Fear of saying no

Pressure to fix or manage someone else’s emotions

Unacknowledged anger or grief

…your nervous system doesn’t rest. It’s in low-level survival mode all the time.

And guess what happens when you try to go to bed with all that buzzing through your system?

You overheat.

You wake up gasping.

You don’t sleep.

Because your body is still working—even when you’re lying down.

The Night I Set Myself Free

Ending that friendship didn’t just give me my evenings back.

It gave me my nervous system back.

The moment I stopped performing emotional CPR for someone who didn’t reciprocate, my body finally whispered:

> “Thank you. You’re safe now. We can rest.”

What If It’s Not Menopause?

Don’t get me wrong—hormones are real. Menopause is real.

But maybe that night sweat isn’t just your estrogen.

Maybe it’s your spirit yelling,

> “Please stop keeping toxic people warm while you freeze.”

A New Kind of Healing

Let’s reframe the symptoms.

Sweating? → Stored anger exiting your body.

Insomnia? → Unspoken truth refusing to stay quiet.

Exhaustion? → You’re doing too much emotional labor for free.

Nighttime anxiety? → You don’t feel safe to rest because you’re never off the clock.

Here’s What Helped Me Sleep Again:

End the relationships that don’t feel reciprocal. Even if you have to grieve them.

Create a bedtime ritual for you—not for fixing anyone else.

Speak your truth somewhere. (Even to the moon. Especially to the moon.)

Reclaim your energy. Your body notices when you stop bleeding it out to be liked.

In Conclusion: Woman, Stop People-Pleasing

You are not just a woman going through “a phase.”

You’re a divine being recovering from decades of overgiving, emotional management, and spiritual dehydration.

Your body doesn’t need cooling.

Your life needs clearing.

You are not broken.

You are simply coming back to your natural, radiant, well-rested self.

So next time you can’t sleep?

Ask yourself:

> Is it my hormones? Or is it the horror of my unspoken no’s?

And if it’s the latter?

Cut the cords.

Close the portal.

Put your body to bed in peace.